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God Jokes

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and

September 29, 2017 By Tom

🐢Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten”.
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, “Your wish is granted”.
Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old friend.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old chums simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin gradually realised that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristian’s home.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, “It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again”.

Kristian replied, “No way man, you’ll eat me. You’re now a shark, the enemy, and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner”.
Justin cried back “No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed…”
“I’ve found Cod. I’m a prawn again Kristian.”

More jokes like this: Animals, Fishing, God

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested

October 24, 2014 By Tom

πŸ™There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid and, because his price was so low, he got the job.
So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine…
Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried “Oh God, Oh God, forgive me! What should I do?”
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke… “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”

More jokes like this: God

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