A boiled egg is hard to beat.
One-liner Jokes
A good one-liner is a thing of beauty. A properly shit one-liner is something better. Below are 98 of them, accumulated over a decade of writing, collecting, and reluctantly admiring. Some are puns, some are absurd, all are designed to be over in roughly the same time it takes you to groan. Share your favourite via the menu above, or submit one of your own.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
A will is a dead giveaway
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate
Bought myself a universal remote control last night
My sister works for British Gas
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
My dyslexia has reached a new owl
What kind of music does an Agoraphobic like?
I was in court today for stealing a bag and found not
I’ve decided to sell my Hoover
Just been stopped randomly by a girl saying she recognises me
If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen the mall
Jokes about German Sausage are the wurst
Police arrested a car battery and a firework last night for anti-social
Walked into an antique shop yesterday and said “so what’s new?”
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